How did you get my kik?
by AngryMagic
Summary: What happens when Storybrooke discovers 'KIK? What happens when they set out to discover the fandom's ways? What happens when you are bored? Shit happens, that's what.
1. What's wrong, Son?

**This was inspired by the amazing ForeverIsAnAwfullyLongTime and her fan fiction: "TTYL". If you love comedy and want to loosen up with some good laughter I HIGHLY recommend this fan fiction. **

**This is a 'Kik' format fan fiction meaning, the concept is similar to that of text messaging only you can send a group text and all... **

**ANYWAYS! **

**I do not own the characters of Once Upon a Time and do not claim any of them.**

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**Chapter 1: What's wrong, Son.**

Henry: Mom...

Regina: Yes, Henry?

Emma: Whats up, kid?

Regina: Excuse me Miss Swan, but Henry is MY son.

Emma: How about no.

Regina: Excuse me?!

Emma: U heard me!

Regina: Technically I read your text and did not hear you, Miss Swan.

Emma: Urgh! Whatever!

Henry: Phew.

**[Henry Mills has left the conversation]**

Regina: *frowns*

Emma: Did u just use an rp term?

Regina: Rp?

Emma: Roleplay -_-

Regina: Of course not, Miss Swan.

Emma: Sure...

Regina: *glares*

Emma: -_-

Regina: Yes?

Emma: Whatever.

**[Emma swan has left the conversation]**

Regina: I will always be the last one standing. *evil laughter*

* * *

Emma: Regina?

Regina: Miss Swan.

Emma: Do u know whats up with Henry?

Regina: No. I'm worried about MY son.

Emma: U know u dont have 2 keep reminding me.

Regina: It appears I do because you, Miss Swan, cannot stay away from Henry. I'm the best chance he has, you agreed to that when you gave him up for adoption.

Emma: I'M HIS BIRTH MOTHER!

Regina: That does not mean anything, Miss Swan.

Emma: He and I have a connection u 2 will never have. We are related by blood.

Regina: You don't get to say anything in this. Henry is MY son. I have changed every diaper, soothed every fever, endured every tantrum while you were god knows where.

Emma: R u quoting yourself?

Regina: Restating a valid argument.

Emma: -_-

Regina: What is it you want, Miss Swan?

Emma: Henry is acting strange...

Regina: Yes he is.

Emma: Why?

Regina: If I knew I wouldn't be talking to you.

Emma: True...

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**Did you enjoy it? Leave a review as to why you think Henry is acting strange! Thank you! I'm going to update very soon.**


	2. Discover new things everyday

**Chapter 2: Discover new things everyday.**

Henry: O_O

Emma: Wassup, kid?

Henry: Emma...

Emma: Yeah...?

Henry: Do u hate my mom?

Emma: Well...

Henry: Good.

**[Henry Mills has left the conversation]**

Emma: O_o

* * *

Henry: Mom...

Regina: Yes, Henry? *I ask worried*

Henry: srsly? The rp term?!

Regina: It serves as an emphasize.

Henry: Y the formal texting?

Regina: It adds respect.

Henry: N the period the end?

Regina: Helps ensure authority.

Henry: O_o

* * *

Emma: Regina

Emma: Regina

Emma: Regina

Emma: Regina

Emma: -_- Madame Mayor?

Regina: What is it, Miss Swan?

Emma: Did Henry talk 2 u?

Regina: Yes.

Emma: Was it a strange question?

Regina: How strange?

Emma: Storybrooke Strange.

Regina: What is that supposed to mean, Sheriff?

Emma: o_o Nothing...

Regina: *death glare* That's better.

Emma: Srsly? With the RP term?!

Regina: *smirks*

Emma: -_-

Regina: *I roll my eyes and put my hands on my hips* What is it you want, Sheriff?

Emma: Henry asked me if I hated u.

Regina: He questioned me on my use of role-play terms.

Emma: Who wouldnt?

Regina: *I glare at you until you cower before me*

Emma: DAFUQ?!

Regina: *I smirk at your absence for better vocabulary*

Emma: Y do u text so formally?

Regina: That is none of your concern, Miss Swan.

Emma: Sometimes I wonder y I even try...

Regina: I wonder too, Miss Swan. I wonder why you even try to go against me. You can never win.

Whale: Sexual Tension...

Regina: Doctor Whale?!

Emma: Whale?!

Whale: Hey there...?

Regina: How long have you been here, doctor? *I ask harshly*

Emma: -_-

Whale: Is she using rp terms?

Emma: Yup...

Regina: Answer my question!

Emma: Regina, relax

Regina: Do not tell me what to do, Miss Swan. *I snap*

Whale: Oooookay then...

**[Doctor Victor Whale has left the conversation]**

Emma: U scared him away!

Regina: He had no business listening to our conversation.

Emma: What was the subject of our conversation again?

Regina: I believe it was MY son.

Emma: O right! Henry's acting strange & I think we should do something about it.

Regina: *sigh* I think you are correct.

**[Henry Mills has been added to the conversation by Emma Swan]**

Regina: *I bend down until my eyes are the same level as yours* Henry, sweetheart, what's wrong?

Emma: Hey kid!

Henry: Hey Emma and mom!

Regina: Miss Swan and I are wondering what is bothering you, Henry. If it's Miss Blanchard I would gladly-

Emma: HEY! THAT'S MY MOM UR TALKING ABOUT!

Regina: Yes, Miss Swan, it is.

Henry: -_-

Emma: Nyways... Kid we're worried about u.

Henry: I no u r.

Regina: What is bothering you?

Henry: Do u guys no what "Fan fictions" are?

Regina: No.

Emma: Nope

**[Snow White has been added to the conversation by Henry Mills]**

Henry: Tell em.

Snow: Fan fiction (alternatively referred to as fanfic, FF, or simply fic) is a broadly-defined fan labor term for stories about characters or settings written by fans of the original work, rather than by the original creator.

Snow: You're welcome.

**[Snow White has left the conversation]**

Emma: Ok...

Regina: And what does "fan fiction" have to do with your peculiar behavior?

Henry: Do u no the site: ?

Emma: Nope.

Regina: I am not familiar with it.

Henry: Do u no what "Swan Queen" is?

Emma: Is it me defeating Regina? :)

Henry: If only...

Regina: You wish, Miss Swan.

Emma: Shut up!

Regina: *I chuckle*

Emma: Is it me ruling as a queen? :)

Henry: Nope.

Regina: Is it a dual between Emma and I?

Henry: Define "dual"

Regina: A fight, a challenge...

Henry: Define "fight" & "challenge"

Emma: Fist pumping, chest beating...

Regina: Blood, ripping out hearts, magic...

Henry: Then no.

**[Doctor Victor Whale has been added to the conversation]**

Henry: Tell em.

Whale: "Swan Queen" is a ship name (or a relationship name) for Emma Swan and Regina Mills. It uses Emma's last name and Regina's title in the enchanted forest.

Emma: WHAT?!

Regina: I cannot help but feel personally violated.

Emma: HOW DO U NO THAT?!

Whale: And that's my cue...

**[Doctor Victor Whale has left the conversation]**

Henry: I went under the M Rated section... :(

Emma: U DID WHAT?!

Regina: HENRY!

Emma: I CANNOT! OMG! WHO COULD THINK OF SUCH A THING?!

Regina: Miss Swan, I feel I must make myself perfectly clear: I do not have any intention of having sexual intercourse with you and do not have any feelings for you. Except hate and disgust.

Emma: That makes 2 of us...

Henry: o.o U used the "s" word...

Emma: Im so sorry kid!

Henry: eh, it's fine... I'm 10... I lost my innocence long ago.

Emma: Good... Wait! What?!

* * *

**And that's the end of it. I hope you liked it! I'm so sorry to any "Swen" (or Swan Queen shippers) out there reading my story... I don't hate Swan Queen.**

**~ KEEP REVIEWING FOR MORE UPDATES! ~**


	3. Sugar, spices and everything nice

**Here you have it folks! Chapter three! Keep the reviews going! I want more *goes into crazed mode***

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**Chapter 3: Sugar, Spices and everything nice**

Whale: Ruby?

Ruby: Whats up?

Whale: Do u read fanfics?

Ruby: pffff no pffff 'course not pffffff

Whale: I just discovered a trend...

Ruby: Ya?

Whale: Frankenwolf.

Ruby: :O

Emma: SMILEY ATTACK! XD

Whale: -_-

Ruby: SMILEYCEPTION! XD

Whale: ...

Emma: :D

Ruby: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Whale: Did u 2 have sugar?

Ruby: HELL 2 THE YEAH!

Emma: CHOCOLATE!

Charming: Told u we shouldnt have made cookies.

Whale: HOW LONG HAVE U BEEN HERE?!

Snow: Ya... But every1 loves my cookies...

Whale: IS THERE SOME1 FROM STORYBROOKE THAT ISN'T HERE?!

Neal: Have u seen Emma?

Emma: I'M HERE! XD

Snow: She's here.

Whale: Gee... Why dont u bring Regina into the mix while we r it...

Regina: Hello.

Whale: I HAVE SUMMONED HER!

Regina: *I glare threateningly at Doctor Whale* Don't you have anything better to do than hang here, doctor?

Whale: I only wanted 2 flirt with ruby but I'm going...

Charming; WHAT?! STAY AWAY FROM MY FRIEND!

**[Doctor Whale has left the conversation]**

Charming: THATS RIGHT! RUN PUNY PEASANT!

Snow: CHARMING!

Charming: Sorry...

Regina: *I snicker at your foolishness*

Snow: Dont u have anything better 2 do?

Charming: Guys...

Regina: I won't be satisfied until your body is rotting on the ground.

Charming: Guys...

Snow: This has been going on 4 2 long, Regina.

Charming: Guys...

Regina: I couldn't agree more.

Charming: Guys...

Snow: Its time we settle this.

Charming: GGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYYYSSSSSS!

Regina: What?! *I snap*

Snow: What do u want, Charming?

Charming: Have u seen Emma and Ruby?

Regina: Why is that any if my concern? *I bark*

Snow: WHAT DID U DO 2 MY DAUGHTER?!

Regina: Me?

Snow: Who else?!

Regina: Excuse me but I do not care about your daughter.

Snow: U dont care about anyone.

Regina: *I lean in while glaring threateningly at you* That's because you took the one person I truly cared about and just when I was developing a powerful relationship with MY son, your daughter stole him from me.

Snow: Henry wouldnt have left 2 find Emma if u had given him the proper motherly love he deserves.

Regina: Henry would have never left me if you hadn't given him that book.

Snow: N because I did, I got my daughter back n a grandson.

Regina: Henry may be related to you by blood but he is MY son.

Snow: :(

Regina: That's your cue Miss Swan.

Snow: ...

Regina: *I frown deeply* it's awfully quiet...

Snow: 2 quiet... Ruby?

Regina: Dog.

Snow: Thats not going 2 get her 2 answer...

Regina: Does it look like I care?

Snow: True...

Regina: Miss Swan?

Snow: Charming?

Regina: Henry?

Snow: Neal?

Hook: Ello, loves

Regina: *I roll my eyes* Captain.

Snow: Hook?

Hook: Ah... It's always nice to make an impression.

Snow: WHERES MY FAMILY, HOOK?!

Hook: Let's play a game of hide and seek. I'll run, you'll stay there and look pretty.

Regina: As much as I enjoy the flirtation, Captain. I'd rather skip to the part where you tell me where my son is.

Hook: Ah feisty. I like feisty.

Regina: *I roll my eyes at you*

Snow: Hook... U tell me where my family is or else...

Regina: Careful, she has rainbow stickers. *I snicker*

Hook: I'd rather you chase me... ;)

**[Sexy Hook has left the conversation]**

Regina: Did he name himself "sexy hook"? *I frown deeply*

Snow: Grrrrr...


	4. Flirt a little, Plot a little

**I am sorry I have kept you all waiting. I have been very busy these last few days but I have managed to write this chapter down. You will notice that it is longer, interpret that as my apology. ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Flirt a little, plot a little**

Regina: Where is my son, Captain? *I hiss at you, leaning in*

Hook: Well taken care of, your majesty.

Regina: If you so much as hurt him, I swear-

Hook: Oh I don't plan on hurting the lad.

Regina: Then why must you kidnap MY son?! *I bark at you*

Hook: Oh it's simple, really.

Regina: Is that so? *I say retreating but keeping my eyes focused on yours*

Hook: Yes. I plan to lure you in.

Regina: Me? *I say, frowning just a little* Why is that?

Hook: To hurt you in the most amazing ways possible.

Regina: Hurt me? *I chuckle lightly* Oh I highly doubt you can do such a thing, Captain.

Hook: I am very much capable of doing so.

Regina: And how do you plan on hurting me? *I say mockingly*

Hook: Oh, I will merely strap you up in bed and... well, I will let you imagine the rest ;)

Regina: *My eyes widen and I am left speechless*

Hook: Let the chasing begin, love ;)

* * *

Snow: HOOK! WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?!

Hook: Ah, most probably recovering from last night... ;)

Snow: WHAT HAVE U DONE 2 HER?!

Hook: Oh, I highly doubt you want to know, love.

Snow: O.O

Hook: ;)

Snow: STAY AWAY FROM EMMA!

* * *

Snow: WE NEED 2 WORK 2GETHER TO RETRIEVE MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!

Regina: Using capital letters does not help you gain authority, dear. *I smirk* You may be a princess but you are no queen.

Leroy: I gotta admit that it makes u sound a lil desperate...

Snow: I'M DESPERATE!

Archie: Now, there is no need to insult each other. We all are troubled by the disappearance of relatives but I think we should all solve issues before proceeding on a quest.

Regina: Must I remind you, doctor, that you got your PHD from a curse? *I reply with a devious smirk* I think we should just go right ahead and destroy the pirate.

Hook: I must admit that's a little kinky, even for me. ;)

Leroy: W8... We're going after Hook?

Hook: Aye, that you are.

Leroy: *shrugs* easy enough...

Hook: Ouch.

Leroy: O come on! It's no mystery tha crappy villain. U r on the floor more times than u r actually kicking butt.

Hook: I happen to enjoy the floor!

Regina: *I chuckle softly at dwarf's witty comment*

Hook: Well, this pirate managed to kidnap the savior, a prince, a werewolf, the crocodile's son and the evil queen's son.

Leroy: eh, u got lucky.

Whale: RUBY'S MISSING!

Snow: WE NO!

Leroy: Ur a lil behind, doc...

Whale: Y DID NO 1 TELL ME?!

Regina: we did not consider you important. *i dismiss bluntly*

Whale: -_-

Snow: I WANT THEM BACK, HOOK!

Hook: Then come find me, love. ;)

Regina: I cannot help but feel an innuendo behind everything you say, captain.

Hook: Perhaps there is.

Whale: Now I just feel misplaced.

Leroy: Ditto.

Hook: Sorry, mates, not interested in the same gender.

Leroy: I've got a fairy. Ain't needin' a pirate.

Whale: I've got... Well, point is I'm not gay.

Sneezy: Awwwww...

Leroy: o.0 sneezy? Got somethin' u wanna share?

**[Sneezy has left the conversation]**

Archie: There is no need to pressure someone into admitting when he isn't ready. Give your brother time, Grumpy.

Leroy: Stop promoting therapy sessions!

Archie: only change 50$ an hour!

Leroy: that's a pretty good deal, I guess...

Archie: Should I write you down for a session?

Leroy: Nah...

Archie: :(

Snow: WE R GETTING SIDE TRACKED HERE!

Regina: *I unfold my arms and let out a puff of annoyance as I take a step forward* Agreed.

Leroy: Fine fine... Um, what do we do?

Whale: Where do we start?

Archie: Y am I here?

Whale: Y do we need a psychologist?

Leroy: Y do we need a doctor?

Whale: Y do we need a dwarf?

Leroy: *gasp* TAKE THAT BACK!

Whale: Never!

Snow: -_-

Regina: *i roll my eyes and sigh*

Snow: Gina? We work alone?

Regina: Better than these idiots.

Hook: ah, I was hoping you'd do that.

**[Regina Mills has left the conversation]**

**[Snow White had left the conversation]**

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed that! I will try to have an update by next week but you can help me by reviewing suggestions or characters you want to see.**

**Thank you!**


	5. Bookcase of Emotions

**I am sooooo sorry about the lateness of this update... :( I've just been busy with school and tests and studying and homework and... I think you got it XD**

**I don't own any of the characters nor do I claim to do so.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 5: Bookcase of Emotions**

Gold: Why am I here?

Regina: *I sigh* Must we really repeat?

Gold: Oh, I know why I was invited to this rescue mission. However, why would I feel obliged to cooperate and 'save the day'?

Snow: What do you want Gold?

Belle: Nothing. He wants nothing, right Rumple?

Gold: Belle, must I remind you not to interfere in my business.

Belle: U said that u were done with all this...

Regina: *I roll my eyes and pace around the room, running a hand on the desk before grabbing the chair and twirling it around. I sigh just a little, and a hint of annoyance flashes across my face as I gracefully sit down* It would seem your son is one of the pirate's captives. *I reply calmly with a cocky smirk*

Gold: Very well, I'll help rescue Bae but I am just doing this for him. I do not want to be welcomed in 'team Heroes'.

Belle: Team heroes? Hehehehehehehe

Snow: Thank u :)

**[Sexy Hook has been invited to the conversation by Mr. Gold]  
**  
Hook: Crocodile.

Gold: Cane.

Hook: What's it to me?

Regina: Magic.

Hook: O.o

Leroy: 7 pick axes.

Hook: Are you threatening me?

Snow: Arrows.

Hook: I cannot be frightened by such a pretty little thing ;)

Belle: Bookcase.

Hook: O.O

Belle: Bookcase :)

Hook: You wouldn't dare...

Belle: ;)

Hook: TAKE THEM BACK! I DONT WANT THEM ANYMORE!

Belle: :)

Hook: JUST MAKE HER STAY AWAY FROM ME!

Belle: :D

Hook: AHHHHH! YOU'LL FIND THEM AT THE UNDERNEATH ASYLUM IN THE HOSPITAL!

**[Sexy Hook has left the conversation]**

Belle: :)

* * *

**Not very imaginative... I know... I sowwy...**


	6. My little jacket

**I thought last week's chapter was little short so I came up with this one... :) Sorry for the lateness, I was lacking of humor because of school... sheesh...**

**Anyways! Thanks to ****Mikaelaaliseouat** for helping me out with some Regina comments, make sure to check her stories after this, okay? okay. 

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 6: My little jacket**

Snow: I no I should b happy about Emma's return n all but...

Regina: Miss Blanchard, do I look like a cricket with a fake PHD?

Snow: But I feel this emptiness.

Regina: You say it as if I were suppose to care, dear.

Snow: I no its wrong... But...

Regina: *My lips curl into a grin* Is the purest heart darkening?

Snow: ITS ALL SO BORING!

Emma: HOOK STOLE MY JACKET!

Hook: Aye, that I did.

Snow: GIVE EMMA HER JACKET BACK!

Hook: You're welcome to take it back, love. I quite like when a woman rips clothing off of me. ;)

Emma: UR MAKING IT STRETCH!

Hook: That's not the only thing that will stretch, love ;)

Snow: STAY AWAY FROM HIM EMMA!

Emma: BUT LEADY!

Regina: "Leady"?

Snow: Her jacket...

Regina: I see...

Snow: Leadys gone, sweetie.

Emma: NO! HE CANT BE!

Regina: This is a jacket we are talking about, correct?

Snow: He is, Emma. He left. Hes in a better place now.

Hook: I do look fabulous in it, don't I?

Emma: I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING FOR HIM!

Belle: MINE! THAT'S MY QUOTE! BACK OFF!

Regina: What is it that is so wonderful about that pathetic jacket?

Emma: He was there when I had my darkest times. He helped me thru it all. :(

Regina: Are we still talking about a jacket... Or has this jacket taken a symbolic aspect for Neal and Emma's bizarre relationship?

Neal: I heard "Emma" n I came ASAP. Is she ready 2 say she loves me? :)

Charming: NEVAH!

Emma: DADDY! HOOK STOLE LEADY!

Hook: Don't pull the father card, Swan. 0_0

Charming: Sword.

Hook: o.O no... You swore...

Charming: I lied.

Hook: YOU CHEATED MY TRUST, PRINCE!

Charming: I DO THAT SOMETIMES! #sorrynotsorry

Snow: *gasp* Charming! No! Thats taking it 2 far.

Charming: #sorry #not #sorry

Snow: STAHP!

Emma: :'( LEADY!

Hook: ;)

Charming: Hook, would u like me 2 enlighten them on ur... Well...

Hook: *gasp* You wouldn't dare!

Regina: *My lips curl into a grin and I cross my arms over my chest as I look between Hook and Charming* Please, Prince, enlighten us.

Hook: DONT!

Charming: Hook, he-

Hook: BLOODY HELL!

Regina: *My head tilts to the side slightly as my smirk grows wider* Do say.

Charming: Has-

Hook: NAAAAAAAAH!

Charming: A...

Snow: CHARMING! STOP IT WITH THE SUSPENSE!

Emma: B-but... B-but... What about Leady?

Hook: YES! THE JACKET! FOCUS ON THE JACKET!

Charming: Would u like me 2 continue, Hook? Or will my daughter get her jacket back?

Hook: B-but I look absolutely fabulous in the jacket...

Charming: Hook has a-

Hook: FINE FINE! TAKE THE BLOODY JACKET BACK!

Emma: CAREFUL WITH IT!

Charming: A DVD collection of-

Hook: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! I'M GIVING IT BACK!

Charming: Ur removing it seductively noing Emma is watching...

Hook: CAN I NOT STRIP LIKE A BOSS?!

Charming: A DVD collection of pr-

Hook: FINE! YOU WIN!

Emma: LEADY! I'VE MISSED U!

Neal: R we talking about Hook's "princess bride" DVD collection?

Hook: BLOODY HELL!

Regina: What? *My eyes widen as I bring a hand to my lips trying to hide the smirk on my face.* To say the least, I'm not entirely surprised. I knew Hook had more to him than he'd care to expose.

Emma: XD OMG! XD XD XD

Snow: I LOVED THOSE MOVIES! OMG!

Hook: If u need me I'm going to be at my ship...

Snow: CAN I JOI PRINCESS BRIDE MARATHON?!

Hook: ...

Hook: ...

Hook: Fine...

**[Sexy Hook has left the conversation]****  
**

**[Snow White has left the conversation]****  
**

Charming: U win a "Emma point", Neal.

Neal: :D

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**Comment if you want any particular characters or shipped to be mentioned! Thank you! Bye bye and until next time ;)**


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